How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
