Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
