We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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