ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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