i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
