so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize