I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
