the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize