She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
worst night to have a conscience
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
