I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize