I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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