She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
