can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
