So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize