do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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