Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
