If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
