does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
