New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
