My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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