Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize