hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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