now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
they're like a gay fantastic four
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
