I'm really into asian looking animals
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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