i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
