long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
