i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
