Where are you?
In a non slutty way
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
