Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
