I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
