i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
