the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
