my phone cant type all the emotion im having
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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