we have officially lost it.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
