I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
