I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
