..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
No subtext here. People are naked.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
