She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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