My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
