fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
