Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
