I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
