Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
