just tell him i said nine months
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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