I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
