update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
