You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize