at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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