Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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