She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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