He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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