i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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