First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
