i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
