My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
