when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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