Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
