i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
