I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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