My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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